You guys are the best.

Thank you everyone for your amazing comments and support. It has made this difficult and unsettling time a heck of a lot better! I’m still a little sad. Which is weird because I am truly NOT at ALL a sad person. In every situation, I am able to find a silver lining and quickly move forward and refocus. I’m not a “dweller” and I never have been. I like to think of what is happening now, and of course, the future. Onwards and upwards…never backwards.
IMG_4969(this is a picture of the city right now. Yikes.)

A lot of people have said to me that at least now I can focus on my spring race, Boston. Which IS actually, in fact, true. However. The thing with Boston is that for the past 8 years? I have not run it FOR ME. I run it for Children’s Hospital. I run it for my adorable, sweet patient partner, Everett. My times get affected for Boston. I stop to hug kids along the way. Every Children’s Hospital mile stop- I break to give some high fives, get a popsicle or candy. During the Boston Marathon, the past 7 years (and soon to be 8) have meant that I run for a cause bigger than ME. And I have always been 100% okay with that, and still am.

Two years ago, I decided to run Hyannis as a winter marathon, and knew I would be running Boston in April. I knew I would be tough to basically train back to back for marathons. I also really didn’t care. I wanted to hit a new PR at Hyannis, and then i did it. This year, I wanted to revisit the Hyannis course, and take a NEW PR for myself. Not just a “course PR”, but a NEW MARATHON PR: 3:08.

My current marathon PR is 3:28. I realize 20 minutes sounds like a large jump. At the risk of sounding like a crazy person–> here is my reasoning for shooting for that goal:
-I was solidly trained for a 3:18 marathon in October 2014.
– I didn’t reach that goal because of a couple random things (not having my hydration pack with me and a ridiculous headwind).

In my mind, this meant I only had to shave 10 minutes off of my time. (NO JUDGING on my crazy thinking, PLEASE) The thing is that i worked sooooo hard for it. Honestly? I’ve been working on my new goal since my BQ back in October. Nearly all of my workouts center around my goals. I just don’t like to slow down and i certainly do NOT like to quit. Telling me “NO” or “you’ll never be able to do that” means that you should drive to Foxwoods or Vegas and bet on me doing the EXACT OPPOSITE of whatever you just said—> I don’t like those phrases and have proved naysayers to be wrong many times in the past. I was going into Hyannis with the winning attitude and wanted to place, high, within the top three finishers. I can’t even sugar coat my disappointment.

But.

And you know there is ALWAYS a “but” in these types of posts and conversations.

BUT.
I am healthy.
I am not injured.
I have my legs (both of them!)
I am able to run, every day.
I have the ability to undertrain and overtrain (if you can’t run right now than obviously you can appreciate that sentence)
I can still continue to be bad ass in my training.

It’s not like I have to “give up” running because I can’t run my marathon this weekend..

it’s

only

ONE

RACE.

YES. I die hard trained for this full marathon.
But, i can’t say that all those 20 mile runs feel like a waste because MAN i LOVE 20 mile runs…. I’m such a weirdo.
I know maybe some of you are wondering why I don’t just pick another race? But I would like to just tell you right now that I have LESS THAN ZERO % desire to travel and run a race on a course I have no experience on. I wanted to run a race on a course that i had a ton of experience on. I don’t want to fly to participate in a race (someday, maybe i will travel by plane for a race!). I can’t miss more time from work ( 8 snow days& counting). This race was my race and now my race is no longer. It is what it is.

So on Tuesday, I sat on my couch for a while all day . I may or may not have eaten a ton of candy. (no judging!). By 3 pm, I had had enough of my wallowing-ness. I felt YUCKY. What better to solve the YUCKY-NESS feeling for a RUNNER than to GO FOR A RUN? There is nothing better, its true. I laced up and hit those snowy streets and ended up having one of the best runs. It should have felt like “A LOT” of effort for this really hilly run…But it didn’t. Every mile felt easy and that is a true mark of how hard I have been working.
IMG_4968
Garmin satellites were wonky-6.85 miles/7:15 avg pace.

This run helped to put my mind into a better perspective. As with life, running is all about perspective, decisions, and the choices we all make.

I CHOOSE to be a runner. 

I CHOOSE to run.

I CHOOSE to race.

But most importantly of all: I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY. Running and racing make me happy. I’m going to keep doing what makes me happy…even if I have to wait a while longer for my next PR race. I’m not worried because everything happens for a reason. And only time will tell me what the heck that reason is.

I will be back for you, Hyannis. And not only will I be winning you next year… I will be teaching you a lesson by setting on you a new course record. TAKE THAT, Winter 2015!

What makes you happy?

How do you spin a bad thing into a positive?

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26 thoughts on “You guys are the best.

  1. Great attitude and such an inspiration. I would love to pick your brain about your training and how you go to the BQ, it is so far off for me but I have yet to have a good marathon!

  2. You are so inspiring! You have such a great attitude and you are going to do amazing at all your races this year, you’ve already put in so much hard work! Your description of running Boston for charity really touched me and makes me want to find a charity close to my heart to run for.

  3. I love when people tell me I can’t… the more people say I can’t the more I wanna say… fu…. You WILL hit your goal time…. and the best part is when you do you can say with a smile… not only did I qualify for Boston but I also qualified for NYC… tell me I can’t and it only makes me work harder. People keep telling me how I probably won’t PR in Boston and it makes me wanna drop kick them in the chest….lol…. you got this… let this fuel you for Boston:)

    • I love you. Best. Comment. Ever.
      We are soul sisters!
      I haven’t looked into qualifying times yet for NYC…are we at a 3:18 or less for our age group? I forgot! I know you will make YOUR goal and can get into NYC, too. . . you’re such a BAD ASS RUNNER!

      • we ARE and that is why I am sooo pissed we missed out on a pre boston meet up.I believe NYC… The time is 3:13 for a marathon and 1:32 for a half (I’m at 1:33 for a PR)… so close I can taste it….. it takes one bad ass runner to know one….;)

  4. You are incredible! You will achieve that 3:08 or better I have no doubt I can hear it in your writing! Your optimism and determination motivated the hell out of me today! Thank you for sharing! I know people think I’m insane with my goals but only you determine where your body will stop with the right training! Sorry to hear about yor race but I love to hear your positive outlook on it! Your dedication to the cause for Boston is equally heart warming and motivational!

  5. I love that you have so much fun with Boston! I think it’s really important that you keep it that way too…but just to put it out there – I bet you could probably run a new PR while having tons of fun at Boston this year!
    I’m excited to hear about your huge goals too. It makes me want to sign up for next year just to see you come in at the finish line 🙂 I’m not sure what I will do about next year yet. I’ll probably hold off on that decision until after my fall season to see where I’m at.

  6. I love 20 milers too 🙂 And I realize you are doing Boston for other reasons, but suspect you’ll PR there anyway! (and look out Baystate and Hyannis….she’s coming for you!!)

    You are so right – Choosing to be happy, choosing to focus on the positive and the good, can be hard but is sometimes all we can do – and the best we can do for ourselves and others. (No judging on candy or frustration, perfectly normal & human.)

    That’s a heck of a photo. I’ll keep it in mind when the temps here drop to record and dangerous lows tonight. Brrr. Stay safe!

  7. Oh I can so understand the disappointment. Even though you love training, it’s still work and you have a big goal! Which by the way I think you are most definitely capable of. I also get that Boston is different and not a PR course or race for you because of why you do it, and that’s awesome! You’re an awesome person and runner all around. And you WILL be back next year, maybe stronger!

  8. Cheering you on from Chicago. A great, fantastic, fabulous attitude, and I couldn’t be more proud of you for it. This sucks, there is no way around it, but like you said–you enjoyed the process and let’s face it, you would have done the runs anyway!

    • When I was explaining to my husband why I was so upset- he kept saying to me “you’ll go back next year, what are you worried about?” and I kept saying “yes but that means another hard training through winter!” and he just looked at me funny and said “you would be doing it regardless of the weather!” he knows me. I would’ve been doing them anyway! 🙂

  9. GET IT GIRL.

    I know how disappointed you must be about the lack of the race, but I like where your head is going 🙂 I believe you have that crazy 20 minute PR in your near future… all that hard training WILL pay off.

    That frozen Boston pic is terrifying! Stay warm my friend, and keep the positive attitude flowing. 🙂

  10. I can definitely understand why this was such a disappointment for you but I also love how you are able to be realistic about things! Its funny how you explained that you should have run a 3:18 because thats what you are trained for and there were circumstances that got in your way. I truly feel like I was trained to run closer to a 3:35 at my last marathon which is giving me the confidence to know I will be able to do it one day. (First I need to get my silly body to cooperate!) I’m glad you can focus on all the positives right now because it could be way worse! And I can definitely tell that you love you 20 milers and you probably would have done them anyway even if you weren’t training for Hyannis:)

    • Thanks Lisa!
      I feel like you were 3:35- 3:30 trained as well. We all know race days don’t always go as planned! I know you will get your 3:35 or better on your next goal because I saw how hard you worked….and keep working to continue to fix all of your issues in PT!
      And you’re right…I still wouldve done 20 milers becuase i’m a kook who thinks its fun! 🙂

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