Returning to the finish line:Closure

I have been writing this post inside my head for a long time now, but have only just sat down now to get it all out.

I realize I might sound like a broken record by now with all of my talk regarding the impact 4/15/13 has had on my life, but this is my little spot on the intergooglewebs so, I technically can blab on infinitely, right? Right.πŸ˜‰

After the marathon last year, it was very important to me to revisit the bomb sights. I did not do what a lot of runners did-run the last 6 or so to the finish line and receive their closure from not being able to cross a finish line adorned with thousands of people.

Instead, about a month later, a girlfriend and I returned. Wifey wanted to come with me, and since she had been my date for all marathon related events, I was happy to have her along. We actually went on the same weekend as my birthday party, and didn’t really tell anyone where we were going. I love my huge group of friends who come every year to see me finish; they are incredible. But, for me: I needed a quiet moment of reflection and I wanted to do it by myself.

We parked in the same garage as we had done a month prior. Took the same routes we have walked along the marathon routes for years. It seemed like everyone had just about the same idea we had: they wanted to see where it happened, what had happened since, and leave a little piece of themselves behind.

For me, that little piece was the shoes I crossed the finish line in. My shoes and I really bond over the 400 or so miles we spend together. For me to leave them behind was truly as if I was leaving a part of myself there.

Wifey held my hand as we walked through the memorial.

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And she stepped back for a minute to let me place my shoes among the beautiful pile that had amassed (I actually had NO idea that anyone else would’ve left their shoes, too-I guess we runners think alike)

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We were standing at that hauntingly beautiful memorial bomb sight, and I know the event that happened were tragic…but also..the message of rebirth, and HOPE was ringing LOUDLY through my ears.
Like this gentleman…he was so moved by the runners leaving their shoes there, he took his own off..and left without any. Just walked off and continued on his day..

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The window of Marathon Sports had this poster:

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And there was new life planted in spots that just a few weeks before, had held blood and shrapnel in their crevices:

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A girlfriend of mine who was at the finish line last year is returning to it for the first time today. I hope it gives her the peace and comfort she is seeking. She wrote the most beautiful post today and I wanted to share it on here:

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She will be there this April 21st along with just a few others-(Supermom and SIL) to see me cross.

The reason I never did any of the groups to finally cross on Boylston is because I knew/know in my heart that Crossing that finish line on 4/21 will give me my closure-it’s going to overwhelmingly emotional,but definitely worth the wait.

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I was glad I went back to the bomb scenes, and I felt at peace afterwards. We went home to my birthday party and we were able to share with everyone else how we felt and what we witnessed. Beauty is everywhere.
Yes, bad things happened. But good things came from it. I can’t stress to you enough: life is beautiful. It is precious, it is a gift. Do not waste it or squander your days on things that don’t matter. Sing out loud, dance like a weirdo, express your love and joy from the rooftops for everyone to hear.i am NOT afraid to go back. I have learned that I cannot be afraid to live…because if you live in fear, then you let fear win.

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6 thoughts on “Returning to the finish line:Closure

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